Characters at Your Work

We've all had those characters at work that exist regardless of the environment you work in. You work with these people...

Lunch Destroyer

Going to lunch? She’s coming with! And she’ll go anywhere you want, so long as it has kosher, vegan, organic, Polynesian cuisine, and diet cherry coke. Oh, and they have to take gold as payment. And they have a booth available. And the forks are made of plastic. And they have white tablecloths. But she's not particular about which place it is.

Subject Matter Expert

This is the person the know everything. They know about the differences between Buddhism and Taoism. They know about the political situation in Paraguay. They know what the latest interest rate moves mean. They know the history of Middle Earth and the Middle East. They can throw a curveball, and hit a curveball. And they can’t wait to tell you all about it, should it every comes up it conversation.

But their help on a report that the two of you were assigned? NAHHHHHHHHHHH.......... he's too busy embroiled in a debate over which Saved by the Bell alumni achieved the most career success.

The Legend

He’s not the big boss, or the big VP, or the big anything, yet. He’s the guy who landed The Peterson Account! THE PETERSON ACCOUNT!!!!!! And Buffalo? Forget it! He killed in Buffalo. They love him in Buffalo. And everyone knows what happened in Buffalo. (you don’t, “Buffalo” happened five years before you even heard of your company). According to what you can find out, he either knocked the presentation of a lifetime out of the park while wasted and delivering a baby, or he simply took an order from Old Man Peterson who was looking to contact you company anyway.

He’s been doing the really important stuff around the office, but no one really knows what it is, or how he got where he is. But when you hear his name, you’re expected to genuflect, to drop everything, and make sure you pay homage.

Hi! I know it's Friday at 4:50pm. But do you have anything going on? I need help with The Peterson Account for the next six hours.

He can get you to do work for him too. But he won't ask you directly (he doesn't talk to your type), unless it is 4:50pm or later on a Friday. Then your his plan, his buddy. Otherwise, he'll ask the cohorts who they know that is available to help him with a "pet project" he's working on. Somehow your name comes up (that's the last time you fart in the elevator with that asshole from purchasing), and your are working on revamping The Peterson Account, all weekend.

Keeper of “The Babe”

She’s hot. Well, hot for work (which is a low level of hot (just above average restaurant waitresses but below fitness coaches at the gym), because you tend to see that same person everyday and their are a few day where they've got it going on, and other days where they look like a truck hit them. But after working with/near them for so long, it tends to wear off. Y'know what I'm getting at, here? Maybe I'm rambling. Just a little? Rambling? Sorry, back to the blog.)

She might even be in a relationship. The relationship might even be serious. She might even be engaged, or married. But she’s one of, if not the, babe of your work. And then there’s the guy that hangs out with her WAY too much. He’s always around, and he’s there just to make sure that you know he’s around. He’s her friend, but he doesn’t want her to have any other friends at work. He might even be in a serious relationship himself, not with her. But he’s declared himself, Sir Nosey – Keeper of The Babe! And his job is to know how The Babe is doing, and protect her from a jammed copier, staplers, and those other men that might need to talk to her. And if a man manages to talk to The Babe, he MUST know what the conversation was about.