Ignorance of the Law

Old School post tonight for my readers that like hearing me complain about work.

Frankenstein is a widget maker that just kind of misses the concept of real life. He hears terms like Workers Comp or FMLA and decides that all of them apply to him.

So I get a voicemail from him saying this... "Uh... VHRG... this is Frankenstein. My (something inaudible, sounded like "mom") had to go to the hospital and I had to take her. Put this on my FMLA."

Something you should know... Frankenstein has no FMLA. It expired six months ago for a temporary condition.

I gave him the FMLA paperwork and said he's got two weeks to get it back to me. Two weeks... nothing. Three weeks... nothing. I tell SuperHippie I'm firing him, he told me to wait and let him have a pass at Frankenstein.

The next morning, Frankstein came into my office...

Frankstein: "Fire... BURN!"

(sorry, that isn't what he said, I just wanted to see what it looks like in print)

Frankstein: "Hey, you got that FMLA papers?"
VHRG: "What happened to the paperwork that I gave you the last time?"
(instead of answering the question, Frankstein opted to stare at me while breathing through his mouth)
VHRG: (after printing out the papers) "Listen, this isn't me being an a$$hole. This is me doing my due diligence to make sure that you are allowed to take the leave."
Frankenstein: "K"

I hand him the paperwork.

Ten days later, I get it back and read halfway down the page, "Relationship of family member to employee: girlfriend."

Girlfriend.

GIRLFRIEND.

Not wife, mom, child, niece, nephew (en loco parentes). GIRL-F*CKING-FRIEND!!!!

Now, checking with our attendance policy, I noticed that I could fire him. Checking with our attorney, I was told that he could plead moron and win his old job back.

Ignorance of the law is now excuse for outside of work. Inside of work, you can be a complete idiot, moron sh!thead, and nothing bad happens to you?

F*ck it! I'm firing him tomorrow.