Predicting This Week For You....

Here are some predictions of things that are going to happen to you this week at work. I'm personally guaranteeing that seven of these ten things will happen to you, or your money back on this column.

1) Some vendor will have some sort of precognition of when it would be a terrible time to call you... and then call you.

2) Someone will make a statement that social obligation forces you to ask a follow up question. Something like this....

They: "Guess you're part of the tomato committee."

Now, you are either going to ignore the comment (and appear rude), say, "OK." (and appear crazy), or - as social obligation dictates - say "What do you mean?" And find out that you, the fat guy, and the potential serial killer of the office all wore red shirts that day.

3) The smell from the restroom will temporarily make you question whether or not you are visiting a zoo.

4) You will be in a very important, strategic, intelligent conversation with a co-worker when a pain in the ass co-worker comes into your office to ask you a question that kills your mojo. You're talking about reorganizing a department, and they want to know about benefits.

5) You will have your boss unnecessarily copied on a email sent to you to make you look bad.

6) Someone will bring in baked goods... they'll probably suck. OR you'll raid a meeting room that served baked good, and eat the scraps.

7) An unimportant employee will make their job sound like it is crucial to the survival of mankind.

8) The most boring person you know at work will tell you a story that would have you debate just walking away in the middle of one of their sentences. And you'll think hard about doing it. But you won't. This could be a great social experiment.

They: "So then I said to my cat -"
You: (walk away quickly)
They: - "uh...? OK! See ya later."

I have no idea if this is what they'd say... this needs to be attempted.

9) An extremely obese co-worker will wear something that will never make you want to eat food again.

10) Someone will use a phrase similar to this, "Especially, in this economy." However, there is about a 35% chance that the phrase won't be used correctly.