Signs that you are going to be a sh!tty employee...

Feel free to add more in the comments section...

• You live with your parents.
• You do not possess a car or a license, and rely on other co-workers for rides to work.
• You do not have a phone in your house.
• You ask about vacation/sick time when you have only worked for three weeks.
• You don't ask questions, you just make statements and then wait for a response. Today's was, "vending machine's busted again."
• You are high.
• You ask for FMLA within your first four weeks of work.
• You graffiti your own locker (this actually happened, within two weeks).
• Mysterious stuff happens to you every week that never seems to happen to anyone else.
• You can't handle money.
  
• You are related to another employee who helped you get the job (has happen 15 times at DeltaHouse, 15 strikeouts).
• You live on instant messenger.